Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Numb,
Laughing gas,

This weekend was awesome !
Though I didn't get to go home, I had alot of fun.
& I'm sure the rest did too.

Celebrated SerLi's birthday on Saturday night.
Happy belated birthday Ser Li :D
The staff sponsered us twenty bucks to get tidbits.
Spent the entire night in the field.
Sang songs, did stupid stuffs & played those games you'd never imagine.

Had a little fun with SerLi in our bedroom after that ... :)
Sunday was pretty boring though.
Church in the morning, and parent visit after that.
Waited for homeleave girls to come back,
& had praise & worship in the evening.

Today is going to be a better day :)
I want laughing gas again ! again ! again ! Teehee :D

It's hard to fake a smile
when your heart can barely breathe.

Friday, March 27, 2009
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth,

-: hi b-itch
Who are you?

Canny: yeah, i added you on friendster, long ago.
but you didnt accept!
Accepted!

Jiemin: gucci, i agree with your last sentence.
can close eyes but cant close heart. that's the most
Jiemin: irritating part >__< we're both living under one roof,
one storey, only diff sides, yet we seems to
Jiemin: live very very far away lohs.
i didnt even get to see you :'( miss yous!
Nvm, it's okay. I'm sure we'll overcome all these.. right? :)
I miss you too !

Cecilia: Baby , finally today can come out tgt .
yeepee , tmr agn ok . guai guai in sch uh !
Yay ! We came out together again todayyyyyyyyyy !
& you behave too !

pukimak kau: angellinneeeeee
shasha: dont keep on eating pple. *winks*
Pukimakkau ! You don't follow me eat people, I will smack you. xD

MRRUILONG: こんにちは、いつものようにノイズとしてbestieまだですか!
Bestie, I don't know how to read that .. :(

This has been officially the worst week of my life.
Please
stop doing all these to me ... please ...


There's always going to be that one thing you hate but can't change,
the one mistake you can't take back.
& that one memory you'd give anything to have again.

Why do people have to lose things
to find out what they really mean?

Thursday, March 26, 2009
Honwah: ok something nice
Hahaha, wth?

Kimkai: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:
:D

Ashley: oi you what happen fainted ar?
Ashley: okay anot and xuan send you
I'm okayyy, thanks. Ask him to send Joey.

Patricia: Angry! Are you feeling better? Get well soon.
Yanting: Hellooooooooooo , how're you ? Hope you're fine now :D
Takecare of yourself pleaseeee .

Js: hey you all right ?
Valen: Girlgirl, you ok? Imy.

Jacqueline Ang: take care okay (:
I'm alright, thanks for all the concern !


Yanling: ok ... (: linked .. you oso link me ok (:
Lol. I don't link ;/

Pei Ru: angelinee! tracked you! haha. how're you??
so how's 3rd level lately. missed out so much.

Pei Ru: take care! :)
How'd you find me? Haha, I'm fine. You?
Yeah, bet 2nd levels been a whole lot of fun huh.

Cecilia: hello , baby . first to tag today . loveyou . anw , goodmorning :]
Good afternoon, baby:)

Psby: i think you and tracy look alike (:
Eh, I don't think so?:)

Isabel: But I guessed it right already eh. & good that you're feeling better now :D
Hahaha, ya la ya la. Damn smart. Can? Lol. Yeah, thanks belbel.

Jiemin: gucci, i really really miss you, and your hugs and kisses.
i feel so uneasy without sharing thoughts

Jiemin: with you :(
Gucci, I really miss you & your hugs and kisses too.
I've so many things to tell you. Maybe I'll write to you again.. soon.

Pb: You damn pretty but you are too fierce. No offence.
Thanks. Fierce? In what way? It's okay man.

Yanling: Pretty gal ... but fierce ? i agree .. hahahahaha .. miss you woe
Yanling: wor*
Wtf, I where got fierce !?!?:( Miss you too.


You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see,
but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.

I miss you a little, I guess you could say,
a little too much, a little too often,
and a little more each day.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Stay close, don't go.
Who was I to make you wait?

I miss you when something really good happens,
because you are the one I want to share it with.
I miss you when something is troubling me,
because you are the one who understands me so well.
I miss you when I laugh and cry,
because i know that you are the one
that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear.
I miss you all the time, but I miss you most
when i lay awake at night
and think of
all the wonderful times we spent talking to each other.




There's so many things I want to say to you, I just don't know how to.

I can’t cry hard enough for you to hear me.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Just because I'm smiling,
doesn't mean I'm happy.

Jiemin said : " The age between a guy and girl doesn't matter because, what is really important is the mindset and feeling. "
Happy Sweet Sixteen,
Cassandra Ang Ya Zhen ! :D

I wish I were as strong as
you think I am.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Angeline isn't feeling well,
Mentally & physically.

Didn't step out of the house this entire homeleave.
Except for going to the doctor's.

Ashley,
I've been reading the things you told me over and over again.
Although you made me feel like punching your face, I know you mean me good.
I know I promised to change, but it takes time.
I'm trying, but I just can't.
I guess you'll never understand what I am trying to say,
cause you've probably never been like this.

But still, thanks for wasting so much of your time
and typing me two full pages of nagging.:)
Ps,
I know my blog has been getting really wordy & b o r i n g lately.
Apologize for the lack of pictures recently, cos' my phone's with Jiahui.

The reason we hold on to memories so tightly,
is because while everything else changes,
they will always be the same.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

It's 12:30am. I'm so sleepy but I can't fall asleep.
Homeleave just isn't the same without your up-till-6am calls.
I guess I'll just have to learn to get used to it.

Two weeks later, when all 8 of us get back our usual homeleave,
will things still be the same ... ?



Ps,
Happy Two Years & Eleven Months, Babyyyyy. (L)
Replies.

Isabel: Angeline, I still can't figure out! -.- See you soon eh, :D
Haha, told you alrdddd :P

Js: little girl , heres your tag . my internet finally ok alr !
Yay, finally ! Thanks Jav.

Friend.: hi. do you know who is shaojun? how is he?
Yeah, I know who he is. I'm not in contact with him anymore.

Fiona: shangxin , imissyou !
I miss you toooooooo !

Leonard: LAOJIAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kukujiaooooooooo!

Honwah: ok la i tag..but what to say?
Lol. Say something nice la !

Jiemin: you happy, i happy ;D
(:

Bai: hello ! hahaha
Hello ! Haha.

Passer by: hey. your blogskin is cool. could you kindly give me the link too? thank yous.
Thanks, what link?

Tracey: Wahhhhh, post about my birthday siah. Wo zhen de hao gan dong! *Sniff* Hahaha, love you man! XOXO
Haha, you should be ! See you in school on mondayyyyyy !

Tzehui: Angeline! Get well soon alright.
Cecilia: baby , get well soon .
Thanks.

Jacq: hello chaotah, imy la. heard of your things le.
I miss you tooo.

Shine: I want to see you soon. Faster come bugis find me again.
Text me lor.
I'm currently out on homeleave, until tmr.
Well, better than nothing :)

Do you ever just wish you could hear the sirens of the ambulance,
wake up in the emergency room,
& hear the doctors say "she isn't going to make it"
just so you could find out who really cares about you ?


From my diary,

18 March 2009,
When my head touched the ground, my whole body went numb.
All I remember was people screaming my name.
I tried so hard to open my eyes, but I didn't have the strength to.
The next thing I heard was the ambulance sirens.
The ambulance seemed to take forever to reach it's destination.
When I opened my eyes, I was already at the hospital.
They put my on a wheel chair and wheeled me over to A&E.
I noticed many people staring at me, I checked myself to see what was wrong.
I realised I was in my pyjamas and a cardigan, my hair was in a huge mess,
and I had no footwear on. Embarrasing.
I wondered if I would be admitted and who would visit me.
Well, the only person who came was my mum.
If I was at the hospital a little longer would you have came to see me?

19 March 2009,
I am still stuck in the sick bay.
My ears are blocked and my body is still feeling a little numb.
I feel like puking, and the dizziness is almost killing me.
Good thing is, my fever has detoriated.

I miss home,
I miss the care & concern I'd recieve if I was at home.
Another week till I'll be able to go home, or maybe longer, I don't know.
I miss my parents and my siblings.
Sigh.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Happy Birthday Tracey Tham Sze Ting, :D

BBQCHEEKENXZZSXZXS,
nvr come school yet I still wish you.
Btr be touched okayyyyyy.
Enjoy yourself !
May all your dreams & wishes come trueeee ! :)


Gotta rush back to Gh right after econs remedial for frisbee training.
Overnight camppppp yo ! Woohooo ~

The sun's going to shine & the rain's going to fall..
& in the end you might get burnt or wet,
but hey, that's life.
So, dance in the puddles & bathe in the sun,
& at the end of the day, smile.
Everything's going to be alright.

In these ever-changing days,
you're the one thing that remains.

So near, yet so far.
So possible, yet impossible.

I want to tell you how I'm feeling but I dont know where to start,
I want to tell you everything but I'm afraid you'll break my heart,
why would something so easy, be so hard to do.
when all i have to say is ..
I love miss you.

I can't deny, I miss you far more than any one else.
I can't deny, that you've been running through my mind.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Standing here with my hands in my pockets
like I have a thousand times,
thinking that it took one breath,
one word, to change my life.



Hello babies ! I'm in Gracehaven nowwww.
I was doing my econs halfway and suddenly had to urge to blog. Hawhaw.
Okay, I gottago before I get screwed.

Goodnight sweethearts !

Ps, I'm neither good with words, nor good with expressing myself.
I just want you to know, how much you mean to me.
This feeling is so... special.
Happy birthday Annabelle Khoo Shi Jie,
I'm so sorry I won't be able to celebrate your birthday with you :(
But, it'll be MY MY MY treat when I get out alright? Love you , ♥
When a girl complains that a guy has no heart,
it usually means he has
hers.
Monday, March 16, 2009
So if one day you noticed we haven't talked in a while,
it's not because I don't care anymore ;
it's because you pushed me away and just left me there.


Went inside th Time Out Room (Gh lockup) , again , last friday.
It wasn't my first time in there, neither was it the longest.
But for some reason, I didn't know why the impact hit me so hard this time.

After all these while, the people whom I thought were the closest to me,
the people whom I thought would be there when I needed them,
all most of them, proved me wrong.
In a situation where you really need someone to talk to,
when you need to cry your heart out to someone,
and none of your 'close' friend's pick up your phone, reply your textes,
or even return your calls.

I guess it's time I opened up my eyes to see the real world and stop being a naive little kid.

Nobody's really there...

!


Ps,
Why is it only now that I realised, you were always here for me ...
Why did it take me so long to see...
Friday, March 13, 2009
Chances come and go,

I've had enough of these games.
I'm not going to let myself fall again.
I'm stronger then you think :)

Because to you, every girl is the same.
& I don't want to be just... another girl.



Replies.

Jacq : hello chaotah, no more them never mind, we still get to meet.
i am with you remember? =D
Hello chaotah. Yup, luckily you're over here:)

Unnamed : am sorry.so sorry for every thing
You are ? & Sorry for ?

Qin : wanyi what happen? where is that cheerful girl i used to know?
be strong ok?

Don't worry. I'm alright:)

Passerby : You and zr still together ?
If yes , then all the best . Both of you are a sweet couple . Last long (:

Nope, we broke up almost half a year ago.

Sherman: hey hope you still remember me when you see this msg my handphone
might need your help with my exam

Hey, sorry I couldn't help much :/

Mrruilong: Ahahas , hello bestie ! .
call me soon when it's not raining LOL !

Bestie ! Lol, I'll call you... soon !

Pb: saw uu a few times before . sometimes you look quite frendly
but sometime uu look very fierce . no offence to say that .

Lol, you saw me at?

Geri: You're pretty(:
Thanks.

Jiemin: gucci, mornings! i miss you alot. i hope you're here beside me now :'(
Morning to you too, gucci! I miss you alot too & I want you here as well :(

Passer: were you at dhoby? wearing red?
Yup.

Eunhyukkie: tagged !~ boo guess who me ~ ;P
Nicholas right ? :)

Joyce: just a passerby here. nice blog you have here. takecare babe.
Thanks.

Passerby: What happened to your mom?!
She went for some operation on her eye.

Tracey: Hihihihihi, won't be late already luhhhhh.
I try my best to be quick quick!!!!! :D
You are late, again ! But ... I'm later :/

E SHI: hihi rmb me? takextracare
From amk sec right ? Take care too.

"Don't cry when the sun goes out of your life,
because your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars."

I'm so tired but I can't sleep.
Standing on the edge of something much too deep.
It's funny how I feel so much but can't say a word,
I'm screaming inside but I can't be heard.


Got permission from Uncle Raymond to go back to Gh at seven today
cos' mummy is undergoing an operation :(

Going to Dhoby Ghaut has become an everyday-lunch-time-must-go place.
Over to parklane with Tracey & Ranjitha to play pool during lunch break.
( So near, yet so far... )
Recieved a call & text that almost made me smile until my teeth drop :D
When you said you called as you wanted to hear my voice, I was overjoyed.
Though maybe it was just jokingly, it really made my day a whole lot better.

" I want to drink pao pao chaaaaaaaaa !!"

In the back of my mind,
I can't help but question.

Thursday, March 12, 2009
You're too good, and, I'm just not enough.

Dhoby ghaut
with Tracey for lunch,
for my fish sliced sooooooooooooup ;D


You have me jumping around like a little girl
every time I see the pop up on my hp screen " New message from ****** "

I don't know why I'm feeling this way either.
This feeling is so strange, so strange.
But I don't want it to go away.





Signing final undertaking later.
Please help me pray that everything will go smoothly.

Angeline, please, Angeline, change your attitudeeeeeeeee.
I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it !


Ps, I better get going now before
Vivien Yoong Wei Lin, Nastasia Tay Na
& Denley Tan Yong Han go crazy.


Bye humans !

One more try,
one more chance.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I can't, I can't handle so much.
The mixed emotions I'm going through everyday,
those uncontrollable tears.
I don't know what's wrong.
I'm already trying so hard, so hard.
Can't you see? I'm trying, I'm trying!
Won't you people just give me a break?

Talking to you, was my choice.
Falling for you, wasn't.

School :


Over to bugis during lunchtime to meet my darling bitch
who is back from ma-lai-si-ya:)
It's been ages since I last saw her.
Miss you, miss you!


To tell you the truth,
I was really delighted upon hearing your voice.
I don't know why I'd feel that way either.
But well, it's been too long. Far too long.
& I was the one who let you go in the first place.

I guess we're both happier this way anyway:)

You're in my head
but that doesn't make you here.

Monday, March 9, 2009
Super big hugs & kisses for Fiona Lim Yun Ru,
for the 3 strawberry lollipops she bought for me
& told me it meant ' I Love You '.


& You've been running through my mind ,
but have I even crossed your mind for
once ...?

If there's nothing missing in her life,
then why do these tears come at night?

Saturday, March 7, 2009
I'll miss you guys,
Lim Jie Min,
Cecilia Liew Jia Yi, Cassandra Ang Ya Zhen, Chia Lee Ching,
Lee Yan Yi, Tabitha Wong Jie Jing & Junaide Terng Hui Min.

I've been moved to the opposite side of C'blk.
Which means, no more daily heart-to-heart talks with the girls, no more goodnight hugs & kisses, no more studying together with my sweethearts, no more throwing of slippers becos' someone is snoring or talking too loud, no more peeking at A'blk boys, no more gossiping sessions.

Sigh, everytime I think that I've been separated from all my sweet niblings,
my heart really aches :( Though, it's not like I won't ever see them again
but it's like they're already a part of me,
after spending almost two years doing almost every single thing together.

Well, just hope that I'll be able to adapt,
& get along with the people there ;)

Smile, Angeline, Smile ...

You’re never prepared for the moment
that changes your life.

Friday, March 6, 2009
Moody, moody.

Fake a fucking smile because sooner or later, it's gonna be real.
So, I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong,
talk like everything is perfect, act like it's all a dream,
& pretend that none of this is hurting me so maybe,
I'll actually start to believe it.


Piglet, Imy.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Dhouby Ghaut with Tracey for lunch.
Finally got to drink my Chocolate cream chip ! :D


I'm going to smile because I'm hurt,
laugh because I'm sorry,
hug because I've cried,
& go on with life trying to fool everyone.


The first time I ever passed Chemistry & got 93.6 % :D
Tracey trying to disturb me while I'm studying :(

Advice is what we ask for.
But when we know the answer,
we wish we didn't.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Recieved many texts asking if I'm alright. (I am alright!)
Angeline is damn touched kay.

But... I still deleted the previous post.
I just needed a place to rant,
but I don't want my blog to be filled with emo posts, so yeah:)

Anyway, school was alright.
Tricia came to accompany during lunch time. Love you kay ?
Walked back to school with Jun Hong & Cephas after that.
Pussy hole ! Hahaha ! (Inside joke)


Cheer up, piglet. We'll be happy, right? :D

Just promise me one thing.
You won't turn out to be like all the rest.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Expected myself to flare up in school again today,
but surprisingly, everything went well :)

Finally had the chance to talk to Mr Lee today!
It's been more then a month since I last talked to him .. :(

Oh yes, if you guys didn't realise I've finally put my tagboard back up again !
For those who don't know how to use the comment box, you can tag me.
But please please don't leave my comment box rotting okie ? Thanks !

P/s Ming Jie, ! :D

I'm not gonna get upset & I'm not gonna care,
because everytime I did, it never got me anywhere.

Sometimes things happen & we dont really know why,
sometimes things happen & we cant help but cry,
but when you can't put up with it any longer, you just have to
hold on
because what doesn't kill you will only make you
s t r o n g e r.


Yesterday was the first time in my whole stay in gracehaven
that I actually flared up so badly.
Suddenly, so many things are hitting on me.
Why ? Why is all these happening to me !?
I wish I didn't know anything...