Sunday, December 25, 2011
I miss her, so much. Everytime I look at her, I'm so afraid one day she's gonna go. Everytime I look at her, she seems to get more & more frail by the day. I can barely understand why God would ever wna take her away from this world. She's the nicest person I've ever met, the most self-less, understanding & forgiving person I know. I'm sorry I can't be there today. Happy birthday & Merry Christmas Grandma, I love you.

I should be at her place right now, wishing her a very happy birthday & merry christmas. Instead, I'm at home. Alone. Eating the mcdees I ordered an hour ago.

I no longer want to be here. Every single day, we go through the same things over and over again. Telling me how much I shouldn't be here, how I'll never be enough. I get it, I do. I keep trying and trying, but no matter what I do, I can never seem to please you. Any of you. I'm tired. Stop saying I didn't try. I did. Hard enough. I'm done trying. What's the point?

In the blink of an eye, this year is coming to an end. This year, has probably been the toughest year for me. So many things have happened. And again, I'd like to thank the people who've always always been there for me. Y'all know who you are *blow kisses*

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