My week, in a glance

Thai food with the family




Dim sum for supper & mustafa with colleagues after work


Ah san
Laagorn raksaa sukkaparp na ka

Sushi supper with the colleagues!!!

We sent this picture to En Qi while we were working since she was at Thailand
Hahaha

Fell down at work the other day and this is by far the biggest bruise I've had my entire life
Why am I such a klutz?

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7AM & I'm still wide awake like any other day.
But today, I feel exceptionally thankful.
Thankful for everything & everyone around me.
I have so much to be thankful for. Why did I only just realise it?

Everyday, I have people to buy food for me even without me having to ask.
I never have to go home by myself after work & I'm almost never alone when I'm awake.
I wake up to texts every single day.
I have the most understanding & bestest friends around.
People who give in to me all the time even when I least deserve it.
When I get angry for no rhyme or reason, or when I throw my tantrums at people who don't deserve it, none of them left.

I am... beyond lucky.
I must've done something right in my past life to deserve all these wonderful people.

But... you, you are insignificant.
I don't need you in my life.
Why should I be bothered about what you have to say?
Why should I be affected by all the stories you go around spinning?
Sooner or later, people will evetually know the truth.
You, disgust me.

There are reasons why or how we do certain things.
One day, it'll all come back to you. All the inhuman things you've done, all the bad you've said.
Just wait & see. Karma, will strike you.

For now, I'm contented.

Honestly can't stand all these drama going on in my life right now.

The kind of pain... when your heart clenches so tightly you can barely breathe.
The kind of pain... when tears just can't seem to stop flowing.
The kind of pain... when even words can't describe how you feel.

Losing grip

So many things I want to get
So little $$$

So many things I need to get
So little time

Sooooo happy with my new casing!

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"Just because someone doesn't love you they way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have"

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Subconsiously my mind is always telling me to back off whenever I get too close with someone.
Somehow, I always feel that people are going to leave & up till now no one has ever proved me wrong.
If I ever hurt you in one way or another, please know that I never meant to.

Meet Lynn! o(^▽^)o

If you follow me on twitter you should've seen this -
Went to work feeling pretty upset today cos the leather cuffs & bracelets I wanted were sold out.
I have never been so upset about not being able to get something before. Le sigh.

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Swee Choon Dim Sum with the colleagues.
Kelvin Chew's treat again. Tee hee!

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Can't rmb when this was. We decided to try the noodles from the restaurant beside QQ noodle house for a change. Surprisingly, it was pretty good. Or maybe because I was starving. Caught "Safe house" that day as well! Been forever since I last watched a movie. He thought the movie was good but... I thought it was too complicating & fell asleep halfway. Hmm?

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Shoe fetish

JC Blyke

JC Rock Lace

JC Corleone


Yay or nay?

Dilemma

Source: X

Been eyeing on this ever since the first day I recieve an email from solestruck about their new arrivals from TBA. Today, I recieved an email that they were going on sale. I've already overspent my budget this week but... this is so tempting... :( SHOULD I?!

Comparison

"Appreciate"

Felt a squeeze in my heart. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
At that point, I was filled with so many mixed feelings & emotions.

I thought to myself, "What about me? How many times have you left me feeling unappreciated?"
Countless, I'd say.

But then again, how would you know?
I refuse to let anything I feel out of the tip I my tongue. Vice versa.

I know we shouldn't be keeping score & holding grudges but just that one text made me think about everything we've ever been through. Maybe, it's just me.

I try and try, but it just never seems to work out.

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Yet, again.

Again, I find myself curling up in bed. Pillow pressed over my face, under the sheets. All these thoughts gush through my mind. I've been here so many times. Way too many, in fact.

I'm not one who can express my feelings very well. It has always been this way... Or well, ever since a really long time ago. There are reasons I act the way I do.

Even I, myself, can never understand the complexities of the human mind. My own, included. I don't even understand myself sometimes, so how can I expect someone else to? It's like a constant battle inside my head. I try to fight it but it won't go away.

I'm so tired of everything. But what can I do? This is life. And it will probably always stay this way.

Till then, xo

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Valentines'

Unspoken?

It shouldn't have ended the way it did.
Too insensitive, I am sorry.

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Frustrating

Been dozing in & out of sleep the entire night. Everytime I'm about to fall in deep sleep, my phone decides to vibrate.

Can't decide if I should go to work later or not since I have an mc for the entire week.

In desperate need of retail therapy. So... I'm finally allowing myself to shop after almost a month!
Have been clicking the "add to cart" button for probably more then 10 times on asos in the past hour.
I am prepared... to burn a huge hole in my pocket.
Need a break. Just for today.

Ouch

The pain in my heart/chest needs to go away. I don't want to stay home and waste my days away. Boohoo.

Fell asleep right after taking my meds & I'm up again. I hate it when this happens. Makes me feel like stuffing myself with meds just so I can fall asleep. I can feel my health detoriating day after day. Somehow, it doesn't scare me. I mean, everyone has to go someday right? I refuse to admit in the hospital not because I don't want to nurse myself back into the pink of health, but I don't see the point.

If I'm sick, I'm sick. Staying there wouldn't make me any better, no?
If I have to go, I have to go. Staying there wouldn't make me live longer, no?

Ok... Maybe I'm just afraid to stay in the hosp becos it scares me... :'(

Anw, on a happier note... Guess who came to visit today? :)
Might not have shown it, but I am... very thankful. At least I felt the effort.

Feeling really hungry & craving for sushi right now but it's 3:24AM and there aren't any sushi places I know of that are open? Anybody knows any??? Tummy is growling away, gonna ransack my kitchen for food now! Hehe


P/s I am not dying. LOL. Just... a little unwell recently.

Wouldn't change a thing.

Maybe, not now.
But soon enough.

Never been worth it to anyone.
Never be, never will.

Midnight crisis

Funny how when I was out just now I was feeling so sleepy and fell asleep in the car on the way back within split seconds & now... I don't feel the least tired.


Whenever I can't seem to fall asleep with nothing else to do, all these crazy thoughts start coming into my head. A replay in my head of everything that has ever happened. Things I wish I didn't do, things I wish I'd have done. Regrets, memories. Every other night I find myself in this position, and there's nothing I can do about it. So many times I've tried & told myself  "You need to be happy. What's the point of feeling upset when you can be happy?" Then again, easier said than done.

Contradicting

:'(

Decisions

Ouch.

A reminder...

...that I'm not alone.

x

Ever tried?
Ever failed?

Doesn't matter.

Try again.

Fail again,
fail better.




You make me want to believe.

Gaw ruk ruk tur mai noi long...

 “No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater… The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that’s the key. It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.” - Sarah Dessen

Heartwrenching

Feelings

If you get me - Does anyone else feel like this all the time?

Happy Birthday?

Pix from my birthday 4 months ago.

Never really wanted to blog about it cos... of reasons I refuse to divulge.

I have never really been surprised by anyone cos I always figure things out one way or another, but this... really caught me off guard. I was really really touched, but then again good times don't last long, do they?

"I very angry ley!!!"

"Orh"

"Ok, nvm. Bye"

"Yay! Bye bye!"

"..."


Honestly, what else is there to say?

With faith, comes hope?

Broken promises, broken dreams.

What else is there to believe in?

And yet again.

I can't remember how many times I've felt this way. I should be numb. Or at least I try. I know I'm not the only one with problems, and I appreciate everyone who has been standing by me all these while. The everyday texts that keep me going. No matter how far I fall there are always people to motivate, encourage & push me right back up. But what if all you wanted was just that one person to make everything ok?

I count myself lucky to have that handful of friends that are willing to be there for me 24/7. No matter how unreasonable I know I can get sometimes. I know I'm not the best friend anybody could have, but I am thankful & I want y'all know that.

The other day when I was feeling down at 5AM in the wee hours of the morning, a friend of mine dragged himself out of bed (despite having to work @ 8AM) to come over to my place to lend me a listening ear & to give me a hug. Friends like that, give me hope :')

Right now as I'm typing this S is telling me to 'stop behaving like a small child' becos I refuse to see the doctor :(

Been running a fever since I woke up yesterday. Despite that, I managed to drag myself out of the house to reach our company dinner right on the dot to find less than a handful of colleagues there. Since we had nothing else to do while waiting for the rest to come, we started singing (even though I was having a terrible sorethroat)... where I terribly embarrased myself. LOL. I JUST HAD TO GO OUT OF TUNE WHEN THE ROOM STARTED FILLING UP. AND NO, I DON'T ALWAYS SING LIKE THAT. I WAS HAVING A VERY BAD SORETHROAT AND SPITTING BLOOD. LOL

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