Xo, Angeline

"Do you sometimes regret having to be who you really are?
A little, but I figured it was safer to try to like myself.
But what about the desire to be good in ways that other people are and that you are not?
I don’t know… Can you even put a number to that? If no then you might die trying and having accomplished nothing.
Why do you spend so much time struggling?
Because the worries come to me.
And you cannot cast them away?
No because they talk to me and I hear them all the time.
Don’t people get afraid of you?
Of how much my mind is a whirlpool of blackness? And that there is no visible bottom?
Yes.
Yes, I think they do.
Do you know how to love, or what it is?
I try my best but I don’t think I have succeeded yet.
You should consider the fact that you are too burdened for the good of the people around you.
Why should it concern them?
Well, because nobody likes to deal with people like you. It’s tiring. And bothersome.
Why not… I try my best to be good.
Maybe because it’s not a question about being good or bad. Maybe you were just born empty.
Possible. But how do I tell?
…
Hello?
…
hello..?"

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